Το βιβλίο περιέχει 50 συμβουλές από ειδικούς για να τα βγάλουν πέρα όσοι έχουν δίδυμα. Στο παρακάτω απόσπασμα από το βιβλίο ο συγγραφέας μας βοηθά να αντιμετωπίσουμε το στρες που προκαλεί το έντονο κλάμα των μωρών.
(σελ. 151-154)
"TIP#44: Don’t Let Crying Stress You Out
Every mother of twins faces days when she cannot appease two babies at once, no matter how hard she tries. You have fed them, changed them, and checked to make sure they are not sick. When you calm one baby down, the other baby screams. Despite your eff orts, you get crying in succession or, better yet, in crystal-clear stereo.
As your babies cry, your body begins to tense. You feel stressed. You start to think that you’re a terrible mother. What is happening here?
Why do we feel so horrible when our babies cry? The answer lies in our body’s built-in programming. Nature designed parents to respond (and to respond quickly!) to a child’s cry.
When we hear our babies cry, our bodies release stress hormones, most notably adrenaline. With increasing adrenaline, our hearts race, our blood pressure climbs, and a pressing need to appease the crying child switches on. When the crying continues, your brain hears the message: “You’re a terrible mother. You’re neglecting your babies. Tend to them fast!” Th is vital instinct was designed to protect babies by preventing them from being abandoned and neglected.
The problem is that this primal instinct cannot distinguish the difference between an attentive mother and a negligent mother. And it doesn’t cut you any slack because you have twins.
As long as your babies cry, your body will respond by making you feel anxious and stressed until the crying stops. During these trying times, it’s important to maintain your cool and reduce your body’s stress level so that you can care for your babies calmly and lovingly. The next time crying has your pulse rising, consider the following stress-relieving techniques:
• Breathe deeply. Take a few long, deep breaths. This reduces your heart rate and helps to relieve pent-up tension.
• Use positive self-talk. Remind yourself of how much you love your babies and that you’re not a bad mother just because your twins are crying. The fact is that sometimes babies cry no matter what you do. Experts believe that some babies cry simply to let off steam. Your job is to be there for your babies, to make sure that they aren’t sick and that their needs are met, and to show them that you love them even when they cry. If you’re doing these things, you’re doing a great job!
• Look toward the future with optimism. Babies of loving, attentive mothers ultimately cry less as they mature. You and your babies have a bright future ahead of you!
•Take a short break. If you start to feel on edge and your stress level becomes overwhelming, it’s time to give yourself a short break. Kiss your babies, tell them that you love them,and then put them down in a safe place like their crib while you leave the room for a few minutes. Distancing yourself from the sound of crying will naturally lower the adrenaline in your system, restore your mental and emotional state, and allow you to attend to your babies in a more relaxed state.
• Ask for help. If it takes you longer than a few minutes to recuperate, call your partner or friend to help watch your twins while you regain your composure. A short walk, shower, or nap can off er emotionally restorative benefits.
• Cry if you need to. During your break, it is totally acceptable and even healthy to cry if you want to. Crying releases pentup tension and serves to lower your stress level. As one wise
mother of twins put it, “Sometimes an indulgent cry does wonders.” The next time crying has you stressed out, remember that crying is simply a form of communication for our babies. Th ey are telling us that they need and want us. Our body’s response to our babies’ crying not only reminds us of our obligation to attend to their needs but also speaks of the special, magnetic bond that we share with them as parent and children."
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